To all of the girls & guys out there that need to hear this:

This isn’t necessarily a blog post, but more of some thoughts. I have a friend, let’s call her Hazel, and Hazel really likes to talk to every guy who gives her the slightest bit of attention. This is bad for her for many reasons: one being that she gets hurt quite often which is bad on her self esteem and the second reason is- it makes her look less than she is.

Now this isn’t a post hating on her by any means, I just want to bring attention to this issue that many of us have. We meet a guy/girl, and they say something nice and we find ourselves starting to like them, which is normal. But this attraction leads to us falling too hard, and too fast.

Now i’m not standing on a soapbox and preaching, because I used to have this problem as well. My therapist helped me see what I was doing and helped find ways to stop cycle from playing on repeat.

Some things my therapist recommended are :

1. Stop making yourself available every second of the day. Don’t be on your phone every second of the day. Give yourself some time during the day to do some of your favorite activities. For example for 1-2 hours a day depending on  the day, I read and write some stories.
2. As soon as they reply, wait a little bit. You don’t want to talk to them all the time because there’s nothing to look forward to later on in the “relationship”. If you get to know everything about the other person in the first 2 weeks, there’s nothing more to learn. That’s not fun.
3. I know “playing hard to get” is cliche, but honestly do it. Think of dating as a game, if you make yourself always available, you’re very vulnerable and it’s way too easy. If you play harder to get, (by not talking to them every 2 seconds & not always being available), it will be more worth it in the end.
4. Don’t talk to every single guy or girl that you meet because then it makes you not look the best, and people will think you’re easy to get. Also, very bad.
5. If you do any of the above steps and the guy/girl leaves because you’re not easy, forget him or her. They’re not worth your time anyway.
6. If you do not love yourself, you simply cannot love another person. Before you step into the dating game, make sure you believe that you are the  strong, beautiful and confident human being that you are.

Letting yourself get hurt all the time because you trust way too easily, or you’re too open, leads to issues later on in your life. If you’re still reading this, please follow some of my therapist’s advice. You’ll feel better and it will be worth it.

Also, don’t date someone that you cannot see yourself having a future with. If you don’t see a future, then what is the point?

I love every single one of you, and I don’t want to see any of my beautiful friends or family getting hurt. If you have anything to add or don’t agree with something, feel free to leave a comment and we can talk.

Thanks for reading!