Bullying/Friends breakup

***This post is going to contain some deep things that not a lot of people know, so if you wish not to read, then I understand. If you’d like to know more, feel free to keep scrolling. ***

I have been wondering for a few weeks now if this is one of the blog posts that I should make. I’ve been back and forth on the idea, but I have decided that it might help some people. Before I get into this story, I just want you to know that it does get better- I’m a living example. Also,  names have been changed for security & privacy reasons.

While I was growing up, I had a lot of friends and was constantly told I was pretty. Me being young and naive, believed that this was going to be how my life was going to be. Picture perfect and surrounded by my great friends and family. I had been best friends with two girls throughout elementary school, and they’ll come out to play later on. Their names are Sarah and Alyssa.

Things quickly changed for me in middle school. I was still surrounded by my family, but friends faded away- and quickly. I made some new friends my 7th grade year, named Quinn and Becca. I was still friends with Sarah and Alyssa, but they also found new friends. We hung out less, but we were still friends. Quinn, Becca, and I were friends were all of seventh grade year, until Becca told Quinn lies about me and tore all of our friendship apart. That was the first time I had experienced this, and it tore me apart.

While this was all going on, a new guy entered my life. Let’s call him Chris. Chris liked me, but I didn’t have the same feelings for him- this resulted in violence. Chris would call me names daily, punch, kick, bite, and pinch me every day in class. That continued on for around 6 months until I finally told my parents, and they called the school. I wish I could say that it was the end of Chris and I, but I cannot. We will come in later on as well.

Sarah, Alyssa, and their friends (Monica, Abby, and Jessica)  joined my new friend circle. We were friends up until my freshman/sophomore year of high school. One day, all of a sudden Sarah said that our entire friendship had been a lie, and she couldn’t actually stand me- she was using me this whole time. My world had come crashing down. After that day, Alyssa, Abby, and Jessica all abandoned me. All I had left was Monica. We became closer than ever up until sophomore year. Monica and I were supposed to go to the homecoming dance together, but she told me she had to work instead. I said that it was okay, and I went alone. When I arrived, I saw that Monica was there with Alyssa and all of her friends. I was devastated. I was alone.

My parents came home from vacation early, because I felt like everything was falling apart. I had no friends, except my sister. She stepped up when I had no one, which I am very thankful for. By this time, I now had another friend named Jackson. Jackson supported me at school, and made me feel like I wasn’t so alone. Jackson and I are still best friends to this day, and we’re going to college together.

After the dance, I had discovered that Chris and Abby were now dating- which is just great. My mom also suggested that maybe I should get back in contact with Quinn, which I did. That was one of the best things I’ve ever done, because we both came clean about what happened, and we built our new friendship off of that. She is my other half, and I’m so thankful for her.

Bullying creates either a physical and or mental pain. For me, it was both. I developed anxiety and depression from my past, but it defines me and pushes me to become stronger daily. I still have my struggles, but it is my beautiful and wonder family and friends who get me through it. Without them, I don’t know what I would have done.

Recently, I got a few anonymous messages from someone trying to break me down, but what they didn’t know is that I am too strong for their words. I have built up an armor from my past, and their words do not effect me. My friends, join me in building up armor because words do hurt. Let’s be the generation to end bullying for good, and only compliment others. Love, not hate.

Since sophomore year, I have gained 3 more best friends and I treasure them deeply. I have 5 amazing friends and I don’t know what I would do without them. One of them, Sam, always knocks me back on track when I get down. He encourages to me to youth group weekly, and his family is so supportive of me. All my friends and their families hold a special place in my heart- this includes my family. my mom, dad, and sister are so encouraging and loving.

If you or anyone you know has been bullied, please believe me when I say it is not your fault. Some people are just so angry that they wish to hurt others. It’s truly pathetic, but it does happen. Please tell a trusted adult, teacher, or friend. You are not alone, and you are so loved. My DM’s or comments are always open. My comments completely private unless you’d like me to post it.

As always friends, thank you for reading. I love you all so much, and you are all beautiful people.

1-800-273-8255 =National Suicide Hotline, open 24 hours a day. Do not hesitate to call, no matter how little you may think the problem is.

911 = Call the police if you are physically harassed because that is illegal.

If you’d like to talk to me, I can always try to help. My instagram is @madycruseee